The most important things I learned in 2010 and how I plan to top them in 2011:
2010 was an interesting year filled with milestones for me and my new family. My son had his first birthday, his baptism and I lost the last of the 60+ pounds I had gained while pregnant. My son also took his first steps, and later walked.
I would say that 2010 was the year that I decided to stop apologizing for my life to other people. It was the year I stopped asking others to make me happy and looked into myself to find my own happiness. I stopped worrying about what other mothers or my peers thought of me deciding to stay at home to raise my child. I made better financial decisions and although I still owe on student loans and have a mortgage in a state I never plan on returning to, I found peace in these things. I have a student loan to pay off because after many failed attempts, I got my bachelor’s degree. That is really positive. I bought a house when I was 24 years old and I now am a homeowner. I have people who live in my house and pay me rent, making me a landlord at the age of 29.
I witnessed change in people, although small, that I thought would never change. I used to say “people don’t change” now I say : You can’t change people. People do change but they have to do it in their own time if at all. You must accept people as they are today or let them go because they will not and should not change for you.”
I am myself now. The self that I always wanted to be but was too shy to be and I owe it all to motherhood. Motherhood has brought out the best in me. I say hi to people everywhere I go and I take time to talk to other people in public and have frivolous conversations about the weather and my sons crazy hair. I see that it makes people happy sometimes. It makes me feel happy too.
I learned in 2010 that above all, my husband is the most important person in my life because without him I would not have my son. 2010 taught me to multi-task and keep a clean house, makeup on my face, healthy body all while taking care of an infant. I learned that I am worthy of time alone and a vacation without our son was the best remedy for our relationship.
What I hope for 2011:
I hope that in 2011 I learn to let people sort out their own issues. I can only do so much for other people and especially if they are adults, they need to seek the help of a professional in some instances. I also would like to get over the guilt of having two seperate families to always think about when holidays or when special occasions come around due to my parents being divorced. I have been told my entire life that I should make my own plans and let them sort things out amongst themselves. This for me is a challenge because they will not talk to each other. Having a young son involved now makes me feel that they should either get along, ignore each other and/or stop expecting me to compromise on everything.
I had to elope when I was 20 because my parents wouldn’t be in the same room with one another. This year we will celebrate 10 years of marriage and my dream is to be married in a church. I will do it. I will invite everyone I love. Those that love me and support me will find a way to be there. (I will repeat this to myself until I believe it)
I am basically starting the process of letting go of those things I can not change. My parents have good reason to dislike each other, both for their own reasons and I realize it is not my job for them to be friendly to each other. It is my job to let them deal with their lives they way they see fit. Them ignoring each other is the best thing for everyone. It makes me happy to know that actually.
My hopes are that my son has an easy transition into 2 and isn’t “terrible”. Lol
I have a lot of hopes and with determination they will all come true just as the goals I set for 2010 came true.