Definition of a friend

Dictionary.com definition of “friend”:

friend (fr nd) n. 1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. 2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance. 3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle

My definition of a friend:

A friend is a choice. A friend is not given to you at birth, or assigned to you at school. A friend is a choice you make. A person you choose to confide in and trust. A real friend is the one person in this world who will put a mirror to your face and show you who are, good or bad, when you most need it. A friend will do anything for you, but as a friend you should never make them do all for you. It is a two way street. As far as money is concerned, I’ve always felt that is a revolving $1, and one picks up the coffee tab and the other the movie, but never do they ask for their borrowed dollar back. (this is a metaphor about friendship, not a dollar bill- haha)A friend is a reflection of yourself. Who you hang out with shows a lot of insight as to how you are as a person, but also how you feel about yourself. A friend should bring out the best in you and you the best in them.

There are many different types of friends:

1. The fun friend: this is the person who you go out with to have a good time, let loose and sweep all your worries under the rug. This friend is not the person you have an in-depth conversation with but a series of superficial chats about superficial things. It is important to have one of these friends in your life though, because not all conversations have to be heavily weighed down with life’s traumas.

2. The childhood friend: This is the friend that has known you the longest, yet sometimes knows you the least because you can never grow up in their eyes. You will always remember this friend when thoughts of childhood cross your mind, sleepovers and simpler times. If you’re lucky, your childhood friend will also be your best friend and the two of you can grow together, still reminding each other of the past but moving towards the future. Sometimes, however, a childhood friend will always be comparing the current version of yourself against the childhood one they once knew and never really take the time to get to know the grown-up version of yourself.

3. The gym/co-worker/other activity only friend: Basically the friendship ends at the door. You discuss as much as you can within your alloted gym time. Maybe the two of you will even meet outside of the gym for drinks or dinner with your spouses but in general the gym friend should be kept at the gym as to not mix work(out) with real life. The gym is an escape from reality for an hour or so and the focus should be placed on the task at hand. With this friend the conversation usually involves the activity that you are doing wih said friend and without this activity the friendship usually ends.

4. The mom/dad friend from playgroup: You discuss your kids, sometimes your spouses idiosyncracies and what you’re doing with your spare time. This friendship will generally last as long as your kid attends the same daycare as their kid.

5. The family friend: This friend is someone who knows about and has witnessed first hand the inner workings of your family. They are treated like part of the family and can usually get away with a lot more than your typical friend because they are around more. You can probably fight with this friend like a sibling and still remain friends.

6. The best friend: If you are lucky enough to find this person, it is the one person who has figured you out. They may not have the same belief system as you, the same interests, or even the same personality but they understand yours. They do not judge you. They do not talk about you behind your back because they have made it to the level where they know that even if you get mad at them, you will always forgive them. This person has your back regardless of the situation. This is the one person with which you have a secret language. This is a person that you did not decide to make your best friend, they became your best friend.

A friend is one that although sees you have placed walls over your heart, will forever work at breaking them down.

Remember that a real friend is one you can lean on, but do not make the mistake of asking to be carried by them. Part of having a good friend is being a good friend.

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