Seeing through the fog

It has been a sick month for my household. I don’t  mean sick in a slang term for cool, but literally sick. My infant son has been sick since around January 8th and then I have been sick since around January 14 and my husband this past weekend came down with our illness as well. The only difference is my husband had a really high fever. These are the moments in life that I feel helpless because I cannot cure everyone’s ailments. I have had other issues trying to get through to people emotionally this month and I am feeling a bit drained. I haven’t been able to workout at my normal level but I have gone back to the gym starting Monday and it made me feel mentally better.
All things in life are usually easier said than done. The reason is sometimes physical but mostly mental. It’s hard to be enthusiastic and happy when all I want to do is run away and hide from my problems. I can’t do that though. I am not only a wife, but I am a mother and I have to be strong and put on my big girl shoes and get things done despite my lack of sleep, pounding headache and physical ailments. For every short bout of frustration I have let come through to those around me, I have tripled my positively in turn to them. I am not perfect. I yell. I cry. I get frustrated. I get over it. I love harder each time I catch myself falling apart at the seams. I write. I sing my lungs out until tears fall down my face, somehow releasing me from my problems. I keep smiling.
January has been a long moth for me thus far. I always make it a point to learn something new about myself and I’ve learned that I have good instincts when it comes to the needs of my loved ones. All my baby needs sometimes to feel better is to be held in my arms. That’s pretty amazing to be able to say. My husband, though resistant to being babied, needs my loving motherly touch just as much as my baby. I may not be able to cure their ailments but I can help heal them.
So if you’re feeling down, I say let it out. Then go get happy. Even if it’s a temporary happiness. Do it. Do something for you even if it’s just a long bath and a glass of wine. There’s always tomorrow to look forward to but why not make the most of today?

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4 thoughts on “Seeing through the fog

  1. Wow! You made me cry.. As a mother we know what are baby needs. You are such a strong person, and still keeping your head up! For me it’s a struggle just dealing with the fact Im a single mom trying to go through these daily struggles alone. I wish I can be two people trying to help my baby out with the full time attention she needs and the unconditional love, but it can’t happen. All I know is that I’m blessed to have the strength to continue to be there for her all the time, and more when she needs me right now. I’ll keep my strength as strong as I can, so she won’t notice my weakness; and know she will always have her mommy forever! Thank you for this blog!

  2. Patty, I’m glad my blog touched you in a personal way. I was just voicing my frustrations and reminded those going through similar or more difficult situations where they are feeling emotionally drained that “this too shall pass”, and that we have to keep our heads up. There is nothing wrong with even saying that we don’t have all the answers, I sure don’t but I am always figuring out the best solutions and if one doesn’t work out I move on to the next one.

    I am taking my son to the doctor again tomorrow because I feel like he should be better by now, but his mucus has returned to a thick green color meaning he has a viral infaction most likely. Fingers crossed he is ok since there is so little they can do for a child under 2 years old.

    I hioe Bekka feels better soon. You’re doing a great job!

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