For Amy

I have a few heroes that I admire for many reasons, but the simplistic reason I admire Amy would be because she never complains. Everyone complains about something, that is not what I am referring to, I am talking about the few people in this life that never complain about what life throws at them.

Amy has been my friend since about 2005 and I will never forget our first meeting. She was in my first Interior Design class, which was Architectural Drafting. We were all quiet as we waiting anxiously for class to begin. The professor was rumored to be a hard-ass, no-nonsense type of instructor that graded hard and didn’t tolerate tardiness. A blonde haired young lady sat in front of me with her hair sloppily tied up in a bun. She overheard me say that I was from San Francisco and immediately interrupted my conversation to say, ” I love San Francisco! I want to move there!” I immediately liked her and took her on as a friend. Over the years that I have known her, I have witnessed many obstacles that have been placed in her way, yet have never seen her give up. She has been financially independent from her parents since the age of 17 and even is she wanted to ask for help, has no one with the financial capabilities to help her. I actually believe she prefers to do things herself and wouldn’t accept help even if it was offered to her. She put herself through our private art school, living off of cookie dough and water at one point. She was forced to pay for her living and school expenses through various student loans along with various jobs.

She does not have an ounce of pretentiousness in her body. She does not judge. She had countless struggles placed before her yet she has always kept an extremely positive and hopeful outlook on her life and future. She asked me to be her Maid-of-Honor in her 2008 wedding and I did so with great pride. In my speech to her at her wedding, I told her that I had seen her flourish from a girl into a woman. I said it in all honesty, not a single shred of sarcasm or condescending tone. I love her. She is now married, pregnant and living in Australia. She has the love of a great man, their baby growing in her belly and a flourishing business as an interior designer. She has a lot of obstacles placed in front of here even now, yet I hear the optimism in her words, even if I can not hear them and only read them.

She has gone through a lot of struggles in her life to prepare her for the bumps in the road of life. Some of us has various hardships throughout our lives, Amy is taking  all the hardships now, some by choice and some by destiny. She is sacrificing her income to pay down her student loans quickly,she is  living in a small space to save money for her new baby, and counting and saving every extra penny to make sure she has a down payment for her future home. She is unlike any other person I have ever known. She knows sacrifice and enjoying the simpler things in life. When the loans are payed off, when her baby is her, when she puts down her savings for her first home, she will understand the reason behind her extensive sacrifices. When she holds her baby in her arms for the first time, she will truly know the reasons. Everything happens for a reason. I see already that all these events are happening to make her future a happy debt free one. Her life and struggles have inadvertently created a strong future mother. She will be an amazing example and her baby will be smart, beautiful and courageous just like Amy.

Amy, the next time you are walking through your neighborhood and see your dream house, you can turn to your husband and say, “I can’t wait until we have our dream home, one just like this home. The difference is we will live in it debt free, without added worry of possibly living above our means and with our new family.Our house will be different because we will truly appreciate every inch of it and care for it like we would a child.” Amy,I believe in you, I believe in your future. I believe and have faith that everything, even the horribly negative, has happened for a reason. One day, when you have another child, your new baby girl, will learn what it is to be a great sister, as you were to your big brother. The birth order and sex of your child has nothing to do with their ability to be a great sibling. I miss you terribly and can’t wait to meet your new baby when she is welcomed into this world. Keep being you. Keep doing what you’re doing because to me, you are one of my heroes.

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4 thoughts on “For Amy

  1. Aww Monica! I love you. That made me cry! Not just because I am a hormonal third trimester prego…but because someone realizes what we are doing and are proud of us. At the moment, it’s a struggle because people don’t understand the sacrifices we make. They don’t understand why we can’t go out to dinner with them, or why we live how we do – like poor college kids. They don’t see the things we have already accomplished by this. I have a mother that can’t understand that I am doing what is best for my family to provide them the best future, and instead she spent the evening literally yelling at me over Skype telling me how selfish I am being for contemplating staying here 5 months longer because of how much it would benefit our future. Things are hard sometimes…and it is easy to get down…but luckily I have a husband who won’t let me get too upset over things. We’re doing our best…and thank you so much for noticing and being encouraging instead of telling me how wrong it is.

  2. Amy, you are doing everything right because you are the only one who knows what is right for you and your family. I have had to make decisions for my family that have left some upset and dissapointed. You can not please everyone, so just please your family. Once Gabriel was born, I realized that we were a trio now and that all that mattered first and foremost, was my trio. I am still learning how to deal with other people not liking that we live 6 hours away, but it could be worst, I could hve settled permanently in Georgia. I am given up on pleasing everyone, because it is a battle that is always lost.
    You are doing a great job. I envy your strength to continue on despite the challenges you are facing, including your family’s lack of encouragment and support. Your mother is upset because she misses you and loves you. She wants you to be in the same country as her. The more upset she sounds is equal to the immense love she has for you. Just think of it that way when you feel like she is angry with you she is merely missing you.

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