I sometimes find myself reflecting back on my young, innocent days and long for the freedom from my adulthood’s worries. I remember when I thought $20 was a LOT of money, or when a simple ice cream cone could erase all of my life’s complications.
I used to love going to Golden Gate Park, the one with the concrete slides and pieces of large cardboard boxes that we would use to side down the windey, cold surface. I loved going to feed the ducks and give them the ends of our loaf of bread because no kid ever willingly ate that part of the bread.
I loved Sundays after church how we would have big family breakfasts that would leave me so stuffed that I would lie in front of the tv until I was able to move again. I miss playing hide and go seek and tag. Remember tag? Such an easy concept, yet it created hours and hours of playtime fun.Sleepovers and truth or dare with my friends.
Being an adult, we take on so much responsibility that we often forget the root of happiness in ourselves. Things that generally released stress, tension and anxiety as kids could easily be translated into fun as adults, yet we do not do the simple things. We read self help books, buy expensive purchases all to fill the void inside ourselves that we abandoned when we felt “too old” to do those things that once brought us joy. I am not immune to these feelings of desperation to be released from the ever piling lists of responsibilities placed upon me, if even for a day. I seek this with exercise, shopping, massages and other personal care, when a trip to the park with my son brings me actual joy.
If I look back far enough I can remember a time when I truly didn’t care what other people thought of me. A time where I did things merely because they made me happy. A selfish time where I was without insecurities and wasn’t self aware. A time when I ran with full force everywhere, whether I was racing my older brother to an imaginary finish line or was getting a cookie from the pantry. Innocence.
Yesterday, we went to an indoor trampoline room where you can literally bounce off the walls. I was reluctant at first to go into the bouncing room with my infant son, but went in determined to “try” to have fun for him. I bounced once, twice and then, next thing I knew, I was having actual fun. Time flew by as we bounced around the room, falling and immediately getting back up again only to fall laughing hysterically. It was the first time in very long time I forgot I was adult and let the kid in me out.
It will go down as one of the best days of my life.