I’ve recently been told that I give too much to too many people, that I am in fact a “people pleaser”. I am fairly certain this was intended as an insult, or as a way of making me see the light of all my wrong doing and stress in my life. However, my initial thought was, “and that’s a bad thing?”. Sure, in an excessive, overly dramatic form being a people pleaser to the extent that you no longer have an identity nor the ability to say no to people sounds like a bad way to be, but in general I think there should be more of “us” out there.
I must also take this moment to admit that I take pleasure in making other people happy. I find that if even some small way I can make someone’s life a little bit happier and more comfortable, I will do what is within my means to make that happen. Since when is this a bad trait to have?
I have definitely had my moments where I am the one giving and giving and giving and others seem to be taking and taking, but overall I have a satisfying feeling when I lie down at night in bed and I feel at peace with how I have lived my life thus far.
I have recently felt the sharp pangs of the reality that I give more than others give to me, especially when I need them the most. Even to the extent that those I have given so much to have no clue that they are the ones I am most frustrated with in my life. Upon realizing this, I was at first bitter and upset, then it was clear to me that it was time to either change the way I let those people treat me or continue feeling negatively. I have emotionally cut a few people out of my life and didn’t so much as clue them into these changes because it seemed insignificant to have them know that things were never going to be the same just as they had made me feel insignificant to them.
Overall, I think I am the way that I am. I am a giver, but I have learned my lesson about that thin line of being nice and letting people take advantage of me. So I ask, is being a people pleaser such a bad thing if it doesn’t hurt you but actually pleases you?