Some things I’ve learned in our ten-year marriage. We will celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary in two weeks and it got me thinking about what I’ve learned about marriage, my husband, myself and how confused I still am on some aspects. Haha
1. Our relationship is based on a foundation of trust, love, respect, and friendship. Without these things, any given relationship, whether it be with a friend, parent, co-worker ect, is doomed. (You can take out the ‘love’ in these cases)
2. Communication is key. Ps- men dread hearing “we have to talk”, even if it’s about vacation plans, it’s embedded in them to hate these words when strung together.
3. Walking away from a mild argument it better than letting it escalate into a heated one.
4. Say “I love you” often, but look each other in the eyes when doing it. Even better, hold each other’s eyes for at least a few seconds and you’ll both really feel the love.
5. Always be happy to see each other. Greet one another at the door. Give hugs and kisses even if you’re currently upset with each other. Take the time to let them know that even though you’re unhappy with them, you’re still in love with them and happy that they’re home.
6. Smiling in the middle of an argument (sometimes) breaks the ice and cracks us both up and we see how silly we were acting. Sometimes, it ticks me off even more. So use this advice with extreme caution. =)
7. Cards with handwritten messages are priceless. Expensive gifts are nice (obviously), but without meaning all the gift really did was put a dent in the account.
8. Talk about having kids and becoming parents and each other’s expectations. Preferably do this before having kids.
9. Be on the same page! Once you have kids, talk about upcoming possible obstacles in your parenting lives and brainstorm ideas together on ways to solve them.
10.Take time out each day and sit in silence together and just BE.
11. Remember who each of you were before you were a wife/husband/mother/father. Don’t lose yourself to marriage and parenthood, but find a balance in your new life and roles with your hopes dream and desires for you.
12. Remember who that person was when you married them. If they had annoying habits 10 years ago, and you thought they were quirky and cute but now those habits irritate you, it’s not their job to change. Most likely, they have always been that way and it is your job to change your attitude.
13. Marry someone you actually enjoy spending time with, not just an attractive face.
14. KNow their “triggers” that tick them off and stay away from them.
15. Have faith.
I do not know what the future will bring, but I have faith in my relationship and the vows I took 10 years ago are forever binding and a sign of my commitment. Relationships shouldn’t be a lot of work, but like a flower they need to be watered and nourished.