Everyone has a story.

Remember everyone has a story. The person who cut you off on the highway may be a road-raged lunatic or could be a person in desperate need to get somewhere important on time. That person in line at the grocery store taking too long because they are using a real check instead of a debit or credit card, may have misplaced their card or maybe they just prefer checks.

We have to remember that all people have a story, just like we have one also. Sometimes we just happen to catch people on their off day. Imagine one of your own “off” days; one of those days when everything seems to be going wrong, including your attitude. What if you met you on that particular day?

My younger sister once said to me, after I cursed at another driver for braking too much and driving too slow, “you don’t know that person’s story, maybe they are lost, maybe they don’t feel well today, maybe they’re not themselves today.” I always try to think of this conversation when someone is rude to me or annoying me that I have just met. I don’t know their story.

Granted, there are some real terrible, miserable people out there that only care about themselves, but in general let’s give people the benefit of the doubt. I want the benefit of the doubt.

Remember this next time you’re annoyed by a stranger or irritated by bad customer service that everyone has a story and to be patient with your fellow human. 🙂

Men are simple…stop over thinking this statement!

Some of the best advice I ever received about men was a simple statement, ” Men are simple”. The problem is, being a woman, I overanalyzed this simple statement as many woman are probably doing at this very moment. Men aresimple. Not simple minded, but simple as in they say what they want and don’t have any underlying meanings like woman tend to have.

I have been married to my husband for 11 years. I still don’t understand him sometimes. I still have moments where I look at him like he is from another planet; a completely different species.

Our main communication problem is he will say one thing, and I will analyze his words, talk about their “hidden” meanings with my girlfriends and all the while he really meant exactly what he said.

Some simple advice to all the ladies out there. Men say what they mean and mean want they say.

Man: I am hungry.
Solution: give the man food. Problem solved.

Woman: I am hungry.
Solution: too many to count. She may be hungry but for something specific; maybe she is watching her weight. Maybe she just ate but is still hungry but doesn’t want to come off as gluttonous. She may just want food. She may want food but feel guilty after. She may simply want food. It’s all very confusing I know, but that’s what makes us so interesting and intriguing to men. Hey, there are a lot of choices out there!

So remember, men are simple. Once we women get that into our heads and really understand that, then we will be able to truly understand the depths of our men.

Age

It has always amused me how other people’s perceptions of aging, is an insight into their own insecurities. Some people have a specific age where they hope to have accomplished a certain goal and when said goal isn’t accomplished can be very hard on themselves.Then these people project their insecurities onto those around them.

I am all for having goals, but the thought of a certain age equaling happiness or my entry into being “old” is completely absurd to me. I have always believed that you are only as old a you think you are and that it is never to late to be what you might have been. There are exceptions to this theory of course, granted with aging comes strain on our bodies which could potentially hold us back from accomplishing things at an older age.

Want to know what makes you sound old? Always talking about how old you are!!

Studies show that people who are positive about aging tend to live longer than their negative counterparts. Positive thinking is believed to increase will to live, making them healthier because they tend to get over illnesses quicker and are more proactive about health. It also states that the mental stress of aging is lower for people who have a positive attitude because they can find wisdom in nature taking its course.

So, what’s so great about aging? I know that our society is obsessed with youth and beauty, but people really get better with age. Trying to look young makes you look old in most cases. I believe that experience and maturity gives older people great insight into life and I always listen to their advice with wide open ears. As one ages, they tend to let go of people that bring them down, are more in touch with their thoughts, wants, needs and bodies, spirituality and they tend to have their priorities in order. I know that this is not the case for all older people, but I hope for it to be me one day. I take in what I see around me, I really listen when people talk about their mistakes and experiences and reflex on my own life to gain insight into my own thoughts and self.

We should EMBRACE aging because we have no control over it; it is going to happen regardless if you try to stop it or not.

If you don’t embrace your age and get too caught in being old , then you will never get to enjoy being young. These are the people that on their 60th birthday look back and think about when they turned 30 and how they had made such a big deal out of it, when in fact, they still had a lot of living and learning to do.

The Older I Get, the fewer “real” friends I have

I know I am not alone in thinking, or rather realizing, that as we get older, we have less real friends in our lives. Is it because we are too busy to tend to each individual friends wants and needs? With greater responsibiliites that come with having a career and perhaps starting a family get in the way of our nurturing these friendships? Or perhaps, we all eventually, come to a maturity level that we are willing to see our friendships for that they truly are?

In my case, it would be a combination of things. First, I got married when I was 20 years old and depending on myself and my husband above all other people. I never needed to lean on a friend when I was married to my best friend. At 27, I had my first child and noticed that some of my “good” single friends were not very supportive of my new role as a mother. They didn’t understand that my focus shifted from being a great friend to being a great mother.

This continued as I had my second child 8 months ago. I am focused on my family now. I do not have the same amount of time I once did to take long phone calls, be accommodating to all their needs and have the same amount of flexibility I once had. I have several friends who are understanding even though they themselves are not mothers.

I have on many occasions assumed that by being there for these people that they would surely do the same for me. It was a naiive notion to think that what I was investing in these people they were also investing in me. I forgot that the key word here for most people is “me”, always look out for their own interests.

So really, the question is, did I ever really lose any real friends or did the bad ones just weed themselves out? I think yes.

Let’s Start Living

Let’s not wait until we are on our death beds to start living. Let’s be authentic to our true selves. Let’s stop living our lives for other people. Let’s all be happy. Let’s start living.

How may of us are willing to look our peers in the eyes and tell them that we have a different opinion than they do, even if that may mean being the outsider? How many of us are willing to look in the mirror at ourselves and honestly see what things we need to change to be happier, healthier people? How many of us will leave this earth feeling that they lived their best possible life?

I have someone close to me that is dying but living each moment. Taking it all in and getting the most out of this gift of life before it is gone. Laugher harder and longer than ever before. Holding hands tighter. Saying I love you and really meaning it. Living life.

I think of the many days, here and there, I have wasted being in a bad mood. Or the days I have not taken a moment to thank God for my life. Life is short. It goes by in the blink of an eye. It is when we are in the thick of things that it feels heavy and long, but really, it is so very short.

Starting now, (because tomorrow is never guaranteed to us),let’s all be happy. Let’s forget the bad stuff going on in our lives, even if just for a moment every day. Let’s find that happy place in our hearts and visit it each time we are getting down. Let us let go of any people who do not enhance our lives. Let’s forgive and move on.

Let’s all start, really start living.

If you smile at the world the world will smile back at you but if you frown…

I cannot help but wonder lately where people attitudes are in this world today. I know that there is a vast majority out there that are struggling to survive and get by every day but why are we losing hope? I may be looking at this from rose colored glasses because I too have struggled and have eventually seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Why is it getting harder and harder for those to also see the light at the end of their tunnel? Being pessimistic gets you nowhere and that light at the end of the tunnel is not the headlights of an oncoming train, it is the solution to your problems. It is either one, but you get to choose which you believe it to be. That’s the beauty of perspective.

If you look at the world with dissapointment then all thing will surely dissapoint you. If you leave your house thinking that the world is out to get you, then I promise you that it will feel that way. It is a funny thing, our perspectives on life and how we choose to view everyday occurrences. It is in these perspectives that we find ourself either dissapointed or satisfied. If you are feeling defensive than anything another person has to say to you that is contrary to your beliefs will feel like an attack. The world is not out to get you!

If you go out into the world and think that there is good in people, that there is good in life, you will start to see glimpes of greatness in everyday occurances. Example: a person holding open the door for another, a simple hello from a stranger, eye contact from someone who is asking how your day is going, people letting others cut in front of them at the grocery store. The little everyday
acts of kindness that make up life.

But beware that the same is true if you leave the house with a negative attitude. The lines at the grocery store will seem too long, gas prices too high, everyone who greeted you today was “paid” to do so or is “fake”, small talk is annoying, ect. ect.

Perspective. Let that chip on your shoulder take a break for the day and you will feel so much better, trust me. I have my days too, where “everything” seems to be going wrong, and then I remember that the world is not out to get me and it is me choosing to see only the negative and disregard all the positve that can be found around me every day.

I look at my kids; I look at the flowers blooming in their magnificent glory outside my window; I think of all the great people I have had the pleasure to meet in my life. I listen to music that lifts my spirit. I do something nice for a stranger. All of these and so much more bring me back to the reality of life and the beauty that can be found in everyday occurrences.