I don’t wanna…things that suck about being an adult ( humor)

Things that suck about being an adult and a parent

1. Laundry- it will never be done because clothing is used daily. I must accept that I will never be on top of it.
2. Paying bills
3.Paying bills on time ( learned this in my early 20’s)
4. Filling your car up with gas
5. Grocery shopping
6. Forgetting your shopping list and trying to remember it by walking down each aisle while feeling confident at the checkout line that you indeed got everything on your list, only to get home to realize you didn’t.
7. Shopping for household items. In other words, toilet paper, paper towels, laundry detergent, these things add up on the bill..
8. Going to the dentist
9. Making the dentist appointment. I miss the days when my mom made all of my appointments ( paid for them too) and all I had to do was show up.
10. Doing housework because now you realize that it is in fact actual work!
11. Having to wake up early when all you want to do is sleep!
12. Responsibilities.
13. Having to wake up at any given moment for your kids.
14. Having to be “on” all the time if you have kids.
15. Having to say “no” to your kids for their own good. Someday they’ll understand. :-/
16. Changing diapers
17. Crying, whining, tantrums ( I’m talking about kids but there are plenty of adults that do the same)

Feel free to add your vents here. 🙂

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Love vs Puppy Love

Love is the one thing we all search for, knowingly or not, yet it is the one thing in this life that cannot be found because it finds us. Love comes in many different forms and shapes. The one true love, the sole mate is a concept I have heard many a couple and single person talk about.

Puppy love: Loving someone for certain aspects of them and wanting them to mean more to you than they really do. Holding on to memories of the past in hopes it will create a future. Overall, loving someone before you even have an idea of who you really are or creating a love in your head when in reality there is no deep love there.

Real Love: Growing in your love together and becoming one while still maintaining your own identities. Accepting each other for your good and bad traits. Friendship. Honesty. Loyalty. Trust. Respect. These are the foundations of real love and without them, a relationship may survive but will always be on shaky ground.

We, as humans, need love. The problem is that we will sometimes grasp onto tiny bits of affection, especially when we are lonely, and weave it into some great love in our heads. We get so caught up in this disillusion of “love” that we create it with people that we are not even truly in love with. If we really want to convince ourselves of something, our minds will go along with it, knowing all along in the very back of our minds that it isn’t true, but clinging onto every small gesture and making it into something it is not. If you are in love, you are in love. It just is. right or wrong.

Have you ever tried to explain to someone why you like a certain food or flavor that they despise and you find yourself at a loss of expressive enough words to describe them of the flavor that you taste in that particular food? As you sit there trying to explain to them how great this food is, you decide to give up and realize that you must just have different tastes. This too is how true love is, there is no explanation for it, it just IS.

Now, I could sit here and tell you all the wonderful reasons I love my husband but I can’t explain to you the feeling I got when I knew I loved him and that he was the “one”, other than to tell you that it was a calm, matter-of-fact feeling and I didn’t hesitate, over analyze it (as in my nature to do so) or ask my friends’ opinions. I just knew.

My advice is when searching for love, stop. Love yourself first. Love is the one thing that we all search for and is the one thing that can not be found because it finds us.

– Side note: tomorrow is our 11th wedding anniversary- 🙂

Siblings: born friends

I am a middle child. I have played the role of mediator my entire life and continue to do so in my adulthood. It is a role that I play into easily. My name, coincidentally, means counselor (Monica) and I’m not so sure that that is a coincidence,(not that I believe in coincidence anyways). I have an older brother, that by just being a male AND the oldest was enough for me to always secretively believe that he was my parent’s favorite. ( He really is though). My mother remarried and had a daughter who is 9 years my junior and my father remarried and had two daughters; one 16 years younger than me and the other 14 years younger than me. Crazy sibling mix but it is never dull.

I had a boy 3 years ago and thought I would be done having children. Then one day I found him talking to a box and realized it was the to give him the ultimate gift- a sibling.

So here I am, rather here we are, a family of four and have created siblings. They get along so well despite the fact that they can’t verbally communicate. Seeing them interact got me thinking about my siblings and how I can sense how they are feeling just by being near them. Sometimes through the silence over the phone and sometimes in the absence of words.

Siblings are born friends, yet since we think we know each other so well rarely do we take the time to get to know one another deeper. I think I know my siblings pretty well, but the truth is I know their mannerisms and characters very well but I don’t know them on the same level as their friends do. I see other sides to them when they’re with their friends. Deep inside I know that act with me differently than they do with their friends and that also makes me feel special. We have an unbreakable bond that began at birth.

My hope is for my children to be friends. To protect each other above all else. To not let anyone talk poorly about the other and to fight for each other’s integrity. I pray that they not only love each other, but like each other. I hope my son protects my daughter and that my daughter in turn does the same. I hope they talk on the phone when they’re away at college and consult each other when making big decisions. I hope they trust one another. Trust is so important.

Thank you to my little sisters for being my little rocks and I hope I am their big rock. 🙂

Just blogging about siblings…

It’s not me, it’s you

Let’s face it, when a relationship doesn’t work out, rarely do we take any of the blame. I am not talking about romantic relationships here but rather friendships. I’ve had a few end over the years, and it isn’t that I don’t care for those people anymore, it’s that I care about me more. Self preservation.
I will admit that there is always a tiny bit more that I could have done to save a friendship but at the end of the day, a real friend would never ask me to stretch myself so far and so thin.
It’s not me, it’s you.
My advice to all that are feeling that they are getting less than they deserve out of a friendship is to let it go. You are more important than forcing something that has died. When a relationship becomes more about the other person or you feel like you can’t be yourself 100% of the time, in all of your fabulous and not so fabulous glory, then that person is no longer doing you any good. They are no longer enhancing you and really, what good is having someone in your life that isn’t enhancing you?
Don’t allow people to stay in your life that don’t bring out the best in you. Don’t be afraid to let go of these toxic people. Another person, a great friend even, may be just around the corner. At least that has been the case in my experience. 🙂

Things You Should Know Before You Turn 30…(list 1 because it is vast)

Things you should know by the time you hit 30

1. How to give a proper handshake.
2. How to write a resume.
3. How to stick up for belIefs, even if they go against the grain.
4. At least one true friend that no matter what fight you may get into, always has your back.
5. At least one meal you can make well.
6. How to properly introduce people to one another. Especially if you’re with one person(s) and come across another person you know. Introduce please. Sucks for the person you were with left standing there twiddling their thumbs while you go on with a new conversation.
7. How to put down your cell phone when you’re around people. Unless you tell them up front that you’re waiting for a call/ text it is just RUDE!
8. Know that you will make mistakes but once you find the lesson in that “mistake” it becomes a lesson learned.
9. Make friends with your parents and family. You can’t choose them, so be grateful for them and give them a break. Stop blaming them for who you are, you’re an adult and have control now!
10. Not everyone is going to like you and vice versa but you should always be polite and cordial.
11. Marry someone you enjoy talking to and laughing with because one day your looks will fade and you’ll want to be with someone you enjoy talking to.
12. Have a savings account! Remember you save the money first and then spend! Not spend first!
13. How to fall in love without losing who you are. Relationships are about growth and you must grow TOGETHER or you will grow APART.
14. How you feel about having kids. What type of parent you want to be.
15. Who you can trust, who you can’t and remembering it’s not your fault.

16. Last, life is short so forgive, love, live each day to the fullest and remember if one dream fails you can create another one!

List one…