One of the worst feelings is to realize you are “disposable” to someone else; especially if it is someone you called a friend. It hurts deep inside. I have learned a lesson from this though.
Long story short, someone who I once considered a friend and have helped numerous times throughout our friendship, started slowly slipping away from me. I understand that as we get older and as we go through different experiences we change. I understand that seeing people with an “easier” life than our own can be frustrating at times too. What I will never understand is not being a cheerleader for someone who we call a friend. Unless this person is your “frenemy”; a person you pretend to love and turn around and hate behind their back, then you should be rooting them on in all of their endeavors. Having found myself thrown away so easily by someone, without so much as an explanation or an apology, I have realized that I am too giving.
For the first time I sat thinking about all the things I had done for this person. I thought about how hard I fought for them. I thought about how they never did the same for me. I thought how I never hesitated to help.
This is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. Funny thing is, if I had to go back in time and do all those nice things again, I would do it in a heartbeat. I can’t help it, it is in my nature.
Here’s what I have learned, and believe me when I say it is/was hard to not be bitter towards this person and situation :
* People change and you must accept them for who they are today.
* You also must except that they may have changed into a person that doesn’t see you fitting into their new life. Have hope that they will come back to you once again, and if not, at least you have made peace with their absence.
* Never stop being who you are. A truly selfless act is one that never expects anything in return, even gratitude. Always forgive, but never allow the same situation to happen again by learning from your experiences with people.
* Try not to take it personal that some people will just be jealous when you are more successful than them.
* When you start to feel someone pulling back, call them out in it. I say it is better to know early than to be longer into the friendship and be surprised.
How to take a compliment:
When someone gives you a compliment simply say, ” Thank you”. The end. =)
When someone gives you a compliment and you don’t immediately say thanky you but go into a long reason as to why the compliment was unnecessary, it make the other person feel unimportant. It is also very uncomfortable when giving a compliment and the other person won’t accept it, so you end up basically shoving the compliment down their throats (so to speak). It just makes me want to not ever compliemnt that person again. Remember that regarldess of how you feel about yourself or something you have done, other people may think it is great and it is polite to show event the slightest bit of gratitude towards.
This concludes our lesson for the day.
PS. If someone is giving you a reverse compliment, (where it sounds like a compliment but they are in fact insulting you), feel free to say whatever comes to you.
We all have two choices in life: accept things for how they are or accept the responsibility to change those things. This is a daily choice that we all have. A choice to feel how we want to feel.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, how you think is how you’ll feel. I do not just preach things that I, myself have never experienced. This is not something I have not conquered 100% because I am a human being. For the most part, I am a positive person and feel generally good about myself. I find myself in a funk every now and then and when I have a moment of clarity I come up with the same answer: it is my own fault for feeling the way that I do because I am the only one in this world that is in my own head. I am the only one in this world that can control my feelings.
No one has the power to make you feel bad about yourself because you have a choice to believe their words.
You have power over your thoughts once you control your thoughts. It may sound silly, but give yourself a compliment every now and again. Stop focusing on the negative and realize that you are human and to error is human.
Accepting the way things are does not mean accepting defeat, it sometimes means that you are smart enough to know when to give up on an unhealthy situation. Sometimes this means accepting people and situations for what they really are and the acceptance takes a great weight off of your shoulders.
A life change is not done overnight, it is a gradual process and it takes time. It take 3-4 years to get a degree because it is a series of steps and lessons that have to learned along the way in order to earn that degree. This is the same with life, knowledge and wisdom sometimes come at a cost of a few errors, but as long as you grow from the experience then what harm was really done?
I think now, being the beginning of a new year, is the perfect time to take control of whatever is in your life that you feel like you need to change. Take responsibility to change it or accept it for how it is and stop complaining.
2013. I think it is about time we all take the “random” out of our acts of kindness. Let’s all vow to stop and think of mankind as a whole and realize that we are not an island, that we are part of something greater; we are a part of mankind and of the world we live in. The world, good or bad, is still our world and it is made up of different people, from all different walks of life.
Let’s stop only seeing the bad in people and know deep down that there are great people in this world and it starts with us; it starts with me and it starts with YOU.
Let’s just be kind to one another.
Let’s give people the benefit of the doubt and stop jumping to conclusions.
Let’s remember that the world is not out to get us!
When you’re in line at the grocery store and the person behind you has less items than you, let them cut in front of you.
When you have a free hand, lend it to someone. Open the door for them, grab an item that is too high for them to grab on a shelf.
Acts of kindness do not have to be monetary. A smile is free and also contagious, so spread it around a little and notice the reactions you will get!
There are so many cynics walking the earth right now, and they have the right to feel the way that they do with the state of things and some of the horrible events that have occured, but a smile and kindness reminds us of our humanity and that we all have that in common.
When people say they want to change the world they look at the world and get overwhelmed. I look at me. By changing myself for the better in my thoughts, actions towards other people and the environment I am part of the world and I therefore am making a change.
They say it starts with just one person and I agree. One person can influence a million by a single act of kindness.
So, in 2013, let’s take a moment a day to perform one single act, (if not more),of kindness, whether it be big or small. Let’s smile a little more at people. Give eye-contact. Say hello to strangers. Let’s make this year kinder than 2012.