Disposable Friendships

One of the worst feelings is to realize you are “disposable” to someone else; especially if it is someone you called a friend. It hurts deep inside. I have learned a lesson from this though.
Long story short, someone who I once considered a friend and have helped numerous times throughout our friendship, started slowly slipping away from me. I understand that as we get older and as we go through different experiences we change. I understand that seeing people with an “easier” life than our own can be frustrating at times too. What I will never understand is not being a cheerleader for someone who we call a friend. Unless this person is your “frenemy”; a person you pretend to love and turn around and hate behind their back, then you should be rooting them on in all of their endeavors. Having found myself thrown away so easily by someone, without so much as an explanation or an apology, I have realized that I am too giving.

For the first time I sat thinking about all the things I had done for this person. I thought about how hard I fought for them. I thought about how they never did the same for me. I thought how I never hesitated to help.
This is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. Funny thing is, if I had to go back in time and do all those nice things again, I would do it in a heartbeat. I can’t help it, it is in my nature.

Here’s what I have learned, and believe me when I say it is/was hard to not be bitter towards this person and situation :

* People change and you must accept them for who they are today.
* You also must except that they may have changed into a person that doesn’t see you fitting into their new life. Have hope that they will come back to you once again, and if not, at least you have made peace with their absence.
* Never stop being who you are. A truly selfless act is one that never expects anything in return, even gratitude. Always forgive, but never allow the same situation to happen again by learning from your experiences with people.
* Try not to take it personal that some people will just be jealous when you are more successful than them.
* When you start to feel someone pulling back, call them out in it. I say it is better to know early than to be longer into the friendship and be surprised.

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5 thoughts on “Disposable Friendships

  1. I like how you used the word disposable in your title, my first thought to this was like a disposable diaper, (sorry it is the mom in me) but it has the same reflection, once it has been used, you throw it out, and it is because what is inside the diaper isn’t necessary to keep. I hope you find a laughter to my reply. 🙂 And on a serious note, all that your blog is saying is what the bible teaches so it is in your nature to finding peace everyday and to forgive. God bless you for being you, it is a nice touch to all who know you and call you a true friend!

  2. There must be some causes of such a behaviour. If one does everything right then there is no reason to feel guilty or remorse. Betrayal hurts as many other feelings do. Keep your head up. All the people are lonely : ) & freaky in some way. : )

  3. This is a great read….expressed my feelings exactly with several of my “friends”. Would love to print this out, but found a word that was misused….Should be “accept” instead of “except”. Not being critical….this was worded so perfectly thought you might want to correct.

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