I haven’t posted in awhile. I have a lot on my mind and it seems like the many different events and thoughts seem to jumble together whenever I sit down to write about just one thing. Parenting and parenthood is on my mind at the moment, so I will start there and excuse me in advance if my thoughts digress as they tend to do.
I am lying here in my bed writing about parenthood as my daughter, who is now 20 months old, screams for me. I stop writing, attend to her needs, lie her down again and a few mintutes later, mid-sentence, I hear her call for me again. This time she needs water. It can be frustrating at times when my deep thoughts are constantly being interrupted during the light hours of the day (and sometimes the night), but I would never change my life for anything. In the end, when I am old and gray (or old with my gray hair colored), I will look back at these moments and cherish them.
Here is a short list of things that are truly wonderful about being a parent. Things that make my eyes water when I think back on them.
1. When my 4 year old son looks into my eyes with his most serious face, waiting until he has my full attention, (sometimes even holding my cheeks with both of his tiny hands) and says, “I love you mommy.” It melts my heart. Anything that was bothering me immediately vanishes and I am living in that moment.
2. When my 20 month year old daughter has a kissing contest with herself and repeatedly kisses me and her daddy until we have to eventually stop her. Once she went on for almost 10 minutes!
3. Whenever I leave the house, whether it be for a half an hour or an entire day, I am greeted with the most enthusiastic smiles, hugs and squeals you would think I was one of the member of One Direction with 12 year old girls groupies chasing me down.
4. When I catch little, gentle moments of pure love and tenderness between my son and daughter it confirms why we decided to have another child. Sometimes my son will gently stroke my daughter’s hair when she is hurt and ask if she is ok. On a few occasions, when she has been scared of a loud noise or animal, he has said to her, “Come here Bella, I’ll take care of you.”
5. When I see the look of pride in both my children’s eyes when we praise them for doing something correctly, I know that we are doing a good job parenting them.
6. When they hug me, kiss me, say loving words, offer me their half-eaten crackers, offer me tissue when I sneeze, let me love them how I want to, let me hold them whenever I want, it simply makes my life worth living. It gives me purpose in this world. They make me whole.
7. Whenever I see them laugh, I feel what pure happiness and joy means.
8. When I remember that they are slowly, yet quickly growing older, my heart dies a little but it makes me enjoy the little moments all that much more.
I am not going to lie and say that every moment of every day is wonderful in parenthood, but every day I end it with the joy and the feeling of bliss and pride that get to be their mother; that I get to be at home raising them. I feel blessed that God chose me to be their mother.