This is a challenge, especially if the person is someone in your family or someone you cannot avoid being around. My advice is: if you cannot remove these people from your life because you will see them constantly, simply remove them from your heart and your tongue. Do not engage with them in petty conversations and discussions. Do not cling to delusions that you may be able to change them because toxic people at their core, are judgmental, insensitive, rude and self-centered and they cannot be reasoned with. Just let go. Do not engage. You deserve better than having to walk on eggshells around ANYONE. Be you and if someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem, not yours.
“It is better to tell the truth than lie because then you will not have to remember any false stories. But sometimes it is better to not say anything at all, then you can avoid having people manipulate your truths and turn them into their stories.” Monica Haur (me)
Lesson #1 of 2014:
Be careful with whom you speak your stories and thoughts to because they may not know how to correctly represent your truths when retelling your stories and may add their on spices to the original recipe. Remember, that the person retelling the story, will always add in their own interpretations of the original story and may not always speak your truths correctly. This does not make them a bad person, just someone who is misrepresenting you and the sooner you realize this, the sooner you should stop confiding in them.
The trouble I have found, is realizing too late that I have trusted a story-teller with a simple anecdote and they have turned it into a novella.
My advice, always tell the truth, but remember that staying quiet sometimes also will help you stay out of trouble if someone retells your truths using their own version of your story.
It finally rained today. And it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time in my life. It finally rained after days of heavy clouds and slight drizzle here and there. The type of drizzle that looks like it will turn into rain but instead just leaves an ominous fog heavy falling from the skies above.
It finally rained today. And the rain came at a time when I was feeling like I needed my life to be washed of negativity, harsh feelings and toxic people; a time when I felt I needed to see myself clearly; a time when I needed to see who would be standing with me in the falling drops of rain and show me the beauty of dancing in the rain.
And the sound of the rain gently tapping against my windowsill and playing a special peaceful tune on my roof, as if playing for only my ears, made me realize that everything is as it should be in my world. Everything is right in my life and that I am right where I am supposed to be and that I am surrounded by the people that are right for me.
It finally rained today and I smiled. And I smile still. I smile because I forgive those who have hurt me. I smile because my heart is so full of love and joy at the knowledge that I get “it”, I get my purpose as to why I am here on this earth. I get the thing that most people forget. The simple things that not everyone seems to care about. Honesty, loyalty, respect, love, kindness and above all forgiveness. I smile because I see that all the wonderful people in my life are not new faces, but the ones that have always been there by my side in good times and in bad.
It finally rained today.
The rain couldn’t have come at a more perfect time.
It finally rained today and I smile.