5 years

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Five years have flown by so quickly,
quicker than any other years of my life.
For so long, the thought of having a son was just a dream,
and now I have you to hold in my arms and kiss goodnight.
Your presence in my life has forever changed me,
from the second that little blue cross showed through,
that’s the moment I fell in love with you.

You are growing up so quickly,
I wish I could take each moment and hold onto them forever,
or maybe freeze them forever in my memories; every smell, every cry, every sweet smile, every hug, every look into your sweet brown eyes.
All these memories I will hold with me forever.

One day my little boy will be a man and right by your side I will stand.
I will pick up the pieces when you fall.
I will forever encourage you to be best version of yourself.
I will always be your number one fan.
I will hold your hand when you are weak, scared or unsure of yourself.
I will be always help you stand tall.

And when that day comes that you are on your own,
Never feel that you are alone.
No matter how far apart we ever are, no matter any distance or time spent between visits, you will always be in my heart; for you are the first to hear my heart from the inside.
I will always love you.

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My Children

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Sometimes I find myself just staring at my children in amazement. I see their perfect little imperfections. I see their love for one another and for me and my husband. I see how they look at their surroundings and really take in every new experience. They are rarely bored because they have each other to entertain them, play with them and even just annoy them.
I find myself pausing and just absorbing the image of my children in this world and I smile.

Toxic People

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This is a challenge, especially if the person is someone in your family or someone you cannot avoid being around. My advice is: if you cannot remove these people from your life because you will see them constantly, simply remove them from your heart and your tongue. Do not engage with them in petty conversations and discussions. Do not cling to delusions that you may be able to change them because toxic people at their core, are judgmental, insensitive, rude and self-centered and they cannot be reasoned with. Just let go. Do not engage. You deserve better than having to walk on eggshells around ANYONE. Be you and if someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem, not yours.

Personal Challenge #1: Why this exercise was important

The challenge was to not criticize yourself for an entire day. How did it go?
I found myself, at least a half dozen times, being hard on myself for simple things. Since I was doing this experiment I decided to give myself a break from all the negative talk and instead focus on making things better. I got through the day happier and more positive than I had started out my day. The most important thing I found was most of us tend to be harder on ourselves than in those we love the most.
Shouldn’t we love ourselves the most? Being a mother I see how important my example is in every aspect of my life and most importantly the way I treat myself. I give non verbal cues to my children on how they should feel and treat themselves. Some days it a constant daily struggle to be good to myself and to move forward.
I hope this short experiment taught you that the majority of things you were most critical in yourself were most likely those things that at the end of the day, didn’t have the biggest affects on your day and world.
Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Keep learning more about yourself.  Keep reminding yourself that you deserve a break from negative thinking. 

The Time Machine (hopefully this link works)

All is clear in 20/20 hindsight, right? Well what if I told you that you could hop into a time machine and change some mistakes you made in your past? What if I told you there was a machine with the ability to change your wrongdoings and to help you see clearly which direction in life to head? Few would pass up this opportunity. Unfortunately, we do not live in a magical world filled with time machines where we can go back in time and fix our problems. What we do have are our minds, which can think up numerous possibilities. What would you tell your former self as a teenager? What would you tell your former self that was so anxious about a situation that never ended up being so bad in the end? Think of a time in your past where you were anxious, unsure or perhaps, unmotivated. What advice would you give yourself?

For example, I hear all the time from people that want to get an education and don’t do it because it will take too long. They tell me that they don’t have four years to devote to school. Some of these people have been telling me these same excuses since we were in our late teens. We are now 30 + and they have reasonable excuses; work, kids, spouses, not enough time. They also have regrets. Every single one of them says to me that they wish they would have realized how short four years of their lives really were and that by now they would have accomplished their goals that they didn’t have time for so long ago. Know what I tell them? I tell them, “Now is the time”.

Let’s get into a time machine, (going to need some imagination here people), think of yourself a year ago from today. Was there a goal or issue you were dealing with? Now imagine going back in time and giving your old self some advice. What would you tell yourself? What would you do differently? Now hop back into that time machine and go back to the future. Now that we are in present time think of what you have learned over the past year. Did you resolve your issues or at least make peace with them? Let’s hop back into that time machine and go ahead one year. How are you doing? Did you lose that weight? Did you start school? Did you land that job? Or are you still waiting for life to happen without jump starting it yourself?

I sometimes do this exercise when I wonder why I am at a standstill in my life or if I feel unsatisfied with myself. I also do this when I need to gain perspective on my future. You have to start somewhere. Somewhere can be right now by planning and setting a future goal. Don’t blame others when really you are the only one that holds the key to your life.

Annoying Saying that are Very true…

Sayings and common advice are relevent because they’re sound advice on things that have happened to everyone in their lives and passing on these sayings is a way of reminding us that we are not alone in our problems, that we are not the only one experiencing these things. I can find them a bit annoying, but here are a few I was thinking about that have rung true in recent months:

1. “Everything happens for a reason.”

* People being told this are usually going through a rough patch and seldom want to hear the core advice in this saying. What I understand is that yes, everything happens for some reason, some good, some bad and some necessary, the real question is “why” they happen. Most often we don’t realize the “why’s” until long after these moments have passed us by, and some until we die and are enlightened.

2.  “Never loan money or sell anything to a family of friend. If you loan them money, consider it a gift. If you sell them something, prepare to hear all about it when something goes wrong with it.”

* No further explanation needed, it never turns out well. Ever.

3. “Don’t burn your bridges.”

* I have second handedly experienced this through my husband and all the employees that he has let go, or have moved on, most burning their bridges with him. The best way to leave a company, partnership, or any relationship is on good terms. No bad mouthing, keep things in order and top notch on your way out.

4. “If you can’t beat them, join them.”

*I allow myself to do this once in a while. While at the park last week, I didn’t want my son playing with sidewalk chalk because he was going to get filthy. The other moms allowed their kids and after a few attempts to distract my son from playing with the chalk, I let him get dirty.

5. “This too shall pass.”

* This one goes along with item #1. I have moments this year where things seemed to be going downhill all at once and from different angles and saying this to myself reminds me that there is always tomorrow and these difficult times will pass as they have in the past.

6. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

* This I have learned in recent time through my 2 year old son, a few friends and a restaurant that I was giving a second chance to, I should have known better. Well, at least I never allow myself to be fooled three times, because that would just be a damn shame.

There are more annoying sayings, these are just a few that have really rung true to my life in the past few months. Please add more if you have any good ones! =)