5 years

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Five years have flown by so quickly,
quicker than any other years of my life.
For so long, the thought of having a son was just a dream,
and now I have you to hold in my arms and kiss goodnight.
Your presence in my life has forever changed me,
from the second that little blue cross showed through,
that’s the moment I fell in love with you.

You are growing up so quickly,
I wish I could take each moment and hold onto them forever,
or maybe freeze them forever in my memories; every smell, every cry, every sweet smile, every hug, every look into your sweet brown eyes.
All these memories I will hold with me forever.

One day my little boy will be a man and right by your side I will stand.
I will pick up the pieces when you fall.
I will forever encourage you to be best version of yourself.
I will always be your number one fan.
I will hold your hand when you are weak, scared or unsure of yourself.
I will be always help you stand tall.

And when that day comes that you are on your own,
Never feel that you are alone.
No matter how far apart we ever are, no matter any distance or time spent between visits, you will always be in my heart; for you are the first to hear my heart from the inside.
I will always love you.

My Children

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Sometimes I find myself just staring at my children in amazement. I see their perfect little imperfections. I see their love for one another and for me and my husband. I see how they look at their surroundings and really take in every new experience. They are rarely bored because they have each other to entertain them, play with them and even just annoy them.
I find myself pausing and just absorbing the image of my children in this world and I smile.

The “ME” disease.

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The “me” mentality is a disease. It’s the belief that you are an island in this world. The thought, (or lack of thinking for that matter), that the world revolves around you and that by simply wanting something to come true it should happen for you. The problem is that few are willing to admit that they are selfish and self-absorbed, whether it be for a moment or a lifetime.

I am getting older, and beginning to see how selfish people are in this world. I am not a cynic and always strive to see the best in all people, but there are so many people I see that are swimming in a sea of their own self-pity that they can’t even come up for air long enough to see that the people around them are growing tired of constantly having to raise up their spirits. These “me” people are so selfish, only thinking of themselves. I am beginning to distance myself from these type of personalities and focus my energy on those that are worth my while.

These “me” people rarely are interested in how others around them are doing. These “me” people are those people who have a sense of entitlement for all the good in life just for breathing. There is no work involved to achieve their desires and expect things to be handed to them. There are also those that do work hard for things and still do not get all they want so they give up and blame everyone but themselves.

A few signs of a “me” mentality:

If your job isn’t going right and you find yourself blaming other people, you are a “me” person.

If you can’t lose weight and you are blaming outside influences that are “making” you fat, then you are a “me” person.

If you can’t find the right guy because they are all the same, you are a “me” person.

If everything around you feels like it is working against you then you too are a “me” person.

The good news: There is a known cure for the “me” disease! First, let’s look at the one consistent word and person in every bad and unsatisfactory outcome in your life. It is “you” (aka me). Yes, that’s right, sit back and take a look at yourself and see that in each element of your life, you are the only thing that stays consistent, therefore you are the only thing that has the power to change. You can change your outlook and attitude on your life but most importantly, you can change your approach when it comes to doing things and your ways with dealing with other people. Too often we expect other people to change and this feeds into the “me” way of thinking. We are all guilty of it, some more often than others and some more extreme than others.

The best cure is to start listening to other people, change your approach to all things that haven’t worked in the past. If you can’t come up with new approaches then ask people, go on the internet for support and ideas, ask a mentor or an honest friend about your weaknesses and come up with ways of overcoming these obstacles.

I am not perfect, I don’t claim to be and if I feel myself asking “why isn’t this working? I have tried everything. It’s not me, it’s them.” I take a hard look at myself and change my behaviors because I have realized (time and time again), that “me” is the only thing I have the power to change. I have no control over other people’s behaviors and it is in my approach and thinking that will change the outcome of the events in my life.

Sometimes, trying an old approach and old way of doing things ceases to work because circumstances change, as do people and therefore constantly relying on the same approaches every time are less likely to have a favorable outcome.

Einstein’s definition of Insanity: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

Toxic People

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This is a challenge, especially if the person is someone in your family or someone you cannot avoid being around. My advice is: if you cannot remove these people from your life because you will see them constantly, simply remove them from your heart and your tongue. Do not engage with them in petty conversations and discussions. Do not cling to delusions that you may be able to change them because toxic people at their core, are judgmental, insensitive, rude and self-centered and they cannot be reasoned with. Just let go. Do not engage. You deserve better than having to walk on eggshells around ANYONE. Be you and if someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem, not yours.